We all have them, those emotionally rough days. Wednesday was mine so I headed to a place I always find peace. Water.

I went to Germantown Lake in Fauquier County. It’s only about thirty minutes from my house, but I had never been there. It’s the site of one of the first German settlements in Virginia and the birth place of Chief Justice John Marshall. I had no idea! I found this out when I did a quick search on whether I could launch my SUP from the boat ramp there.

It was an absolutely perfect night. The sun was starting to set as I launched. My first view as I paddled away from the dock was the sun’s long reflection on the water ending at the nose of my board. Breathe. Except for a handful of fishermen, I had the lake all to myself. I paddled north over small choppy waves, angst-powered strokes propelling me forward. I rounded a bend, and the water glassed over. Breathe.

I became aware of bird calls around me. I chuckled to myself because it reminded me of being at Disney World when you enter a ride and are surrounded by the sounds of the jungle. A train whistle sounded in the distance. I pondered why when I run I’m lost without an audio book, but when I’m on the water, all I want to hear are the sounds around me. I run because it makes me feel good on the outside. I paddle because it makes me feel good on the inside. Breathe.

I hit a patch of water covered in little bugs. I call them skimmers because as my board gets close, they all start skimming away creating a maze of zigzagging lines in the water. Industrious little buggers when they get going! I started thinking about that first group of industrious Germans landing on Virginia shores and somehow ending up in Fauquier County. There were twelve families initially. I imagined the back-breaking work of clearing land for the tobacco and wheat fields they would eventually plant and prosper from. The lake itself was on top of the original mill pond. No walking to the corner store to buy a loaf of bread. First they had to clear the field, then till, then plant, then harvest, then grind, and then finally bake. Breathe.

My mom once told me that it was important for babies and children to have alone time to figure out how to entertain themselves and be alone with their own thoughts. I smiled. Mom, you were teaching me to breathe. I imagined that those German settlers had a lot of time to be alone with their thoughts each day. I wondered if, despite the hard work, they found the same peace being outside that I found. Ironic that all of our advancements to make life easier actually force us to carve out time for hard work, sweat, and outside time away from technology, just to find balance again.

The sun was approaching the horizon so I turned my board towards the dock. I keep getting better, but a true test of my balance is still that step off my board up to the dock on pleasantly tired legs. I must admit sometimes I pull up and just sit on the dock. This time I stepped up, balance intact.

Balance. Internal stress doesn’t give us much mental room to process information calmly and rationally. Somehow we have to create the mental balance to maneuver and work with the ideas and emotions and situations that come at us. When our mental bucket becomes more full of peace than of stress, then our thoughts and words and actions come from a place of peace and create peace.

The sunlight on the water, the bird calls, the train whistle, even my angst-powered strokes that propelled me around the lake, created an open faucet of peace pouring into my mental bucket. By the time I stepped onto the dock, my mental bucket was more balanced. Truthfully the angst had been displaced, and it was mostly full of peace.